Wednesday, 17 April 2019
[To my readers, you may notice that there are more of Faith’s side than Christopher’s. This is mainly because Faith is me and well Christopher’s side are the parts where real-life Christopher told me what he felt and thought at that moment. And since we are here, thank you for still reading my story! Leave some comments if there is anything you want to ask or say. So, here goes.]
“Hey Faith, you’re not eating?” Nina walks over to Faith at the school’s park bench.
Faith has been putting aside her money for Chris just in case he needed money. She doesn’t want to be the cause of Chris being in a bad mood. She has been bringing home-cooked food to school but that is if she is lucky enough Zaily isn’t working. Most of the time she would bring and eat only biscuits.
“I just took some biscuits,” Faith smiles. “I’m not that hungry.”
“You took that yesterday too,” Nina wonders. “Are your parents not giving you any money for school?”
“Oh, not that,” Faith replies with her eyes downcast. She is fiddling with her fingernails. “I’m… uh… saving up for something.”
“Alright…” Nina says in a curious tone. “Anyway, I made some brownies with my mother last night. You want some?”
Why am I doing this to myself? Why can’t I let him go?
Faith spends most of her study nights thinking about Chris instead of doing her homework. Doodling Chris’ name can be found on almost every page.
Her phone rings, it is Chris. Faith lets out a long sigh before answering the call.
“Hey darling,” Chris sounds cheerful. “Tomorrow is Friday, wanna go out?”
“Hey, umm, actually I was planning to go out with Nina tomorrow,” Faith gulps, knowing what Chris’ response will be.
“Oh, so now I’m second?” Chris quips. “You rather go out with your friend than me?”
“Please don’t make me cancel it,” Faith beseeches. “I already made plans with her. Please, please let me go out with her.”
“Oh, yeah, sure, go ahead,” Chris deadpans. “I shall call Eric and ask him whether he’s free. Maybe he’ll be free to go to a club with me.”
And he hangs up.
Faith dials Chris' number numerous times, but he rejects her calls and subsequently switches off his phone. She eventually sleeps with her phone in her hand.
Chris switches on his phone and receives a lot of messages from Faith. He read every one of them and deletes them all straight away.
You just learn your lesson to better put me first huh.
“Yo, Eric,” Chris calls him. “Free tomorrow?”
“What’s up man,” Eric answers. “Yeah, always free for you bro.”
“Wanna hang?” Chris asks.
“Club, pub or just hang out-hang out?” Eric asks.
“I end at two tomorrow,” Chris says. “Should we get a drink and hang out at our usual place? Can’t afford any club drinks now. I’m almost broke.”
Eric laughs. “Alright man, see ya tomorrow!”
The next day in school, Faith isn’t paying much attention in class. There isn’t any reply from Chris at all. Faith is worried that Chris had left her for good.
Nina is noticing her the whole time. Faith will be found staring into blank space and sneaking her phone out of her pocket to check. Her face looks worried.
“Faith, are you alright?” Nina goes across the room to her after the class ended.
“Umm, yeah, I am.” Faith startles. “Why did you ask?”
“You don’t look okay,” Nina frowns. “Is there anything the matter?”
“Nah, I got a little bit of stomach ache, I’ll be fine,” Faith lies. “Hey, let's go and change! The movie starts at 3 later, right?”
Faith packs her books and picks up her bag.
“Oh, yeah, let's,” Nina replies doubtfully, shaking her head and letting go of her thoughts.
“I was so annoyed with Dolores half the movie!” Nina said. “All of her rules are totally unnecessary!”
Faith doesn't respond.
“Okay, that’s it, Faith!” Nina fumes. “I demand to know what is going on and I want to know now!”
“What?” Faith is shocked.
“Don’t ‘what’ me, Faith,” Nina wiggles two-finger peace signs into air quotes on ‘what’. “You were not paying attention in class just now, you barely watch the movie because you were always on your phone and you were not responding to what I have been saying! So, you better tell me what is going on, Faith, please. Don’t you trust me?”
“It’s Chris,” Faith answers as her eyes downcast, fiddling with the phone in her hand.
“What happened?” Nina was concerned.
Faith tells Nina what happened and tells her what she feels about the whole situation. Faith knows that she can trust Nina at any cost.
“Is this why you were short of cash for almost a month?” Nina asks.
“I saved all my allowance just in case he needed help,” Faith answers.
“No, this is wrong, Faith,” Nina says. “You can’t do this to yourself. Know your worth, Faith. Those are not your responsibility. Tell him that.”
“I can’t, I’m scared,” Faith sighs. “I don’t want him to leave me. I think I love him.”
Nina lets out a long sigh. She has nothing more to say except, “Be careful, Faith.”
They separated shortly after. Faith told Nina she was not feeling too good, but the real reason was she wanted to see Chris and talk.
I can’t let him go. Not like this.
“Hey, man,” Eric raises a hand in greeting. They do their usual handshake follows by a fist bump and a nudge on each other’s shoulder.
“How are ya, Ric?” Chris asks as he shakes Eric by his shoulders. Eric gives him the okay sign.
“Girls, money or sex life?” Chris chuckles.
“Fuck off,” Eric shoves Chris. “I’m so broke nowadays. I don’t have a stable job even. Every job I had ended with fights. Fuck my life, man.”
Chris empties his coins from his wallet into his palms, “Let’s see.” He counts his coins and totalled those up with his dollar notes. “I have exactly fourteen dollars and seventy cents. What about we get a couple of beers and chill somewhere?”
They sit nearby Chris’ house and talk for hours about how their life has evolved from being carefree to adulting.
“Here’s one more,” Eric chuckles. “Remember when you were sixteen and were dating this chick, what’s her name?”
“Sophia,” Chris smirks as he knows what Eric is getting to.
“Ah yes, her.” Eric rubs his hands together. “It was the year when they started the rules on locking the classroom door during recess because there were too many students complaining about their things getting stolen. The classroom blocks were usually very empty at that point in time.”
Chris nods with a huge smile on his face.
“We were supposed to meet each other at the usual place and I had to walk past your classroom,” Eric is talking so fast to finish his story as they are both laughing at each moment. “And there you were fucking another girl in your classroom!” They both burst out laughing.
“The key was with her and I had to take something from my bag,” Chris smirks. “We both were alone and I’m horny all the time, man! And, obviously, she wanted it too!”
Oh, there he is, laughing with Eric.
Faith is scared to face Chris, but she knows that if neither of them going to do something about it, she will lose Chris and that is the last thing she wanted. Every time she takes a step, she takes two steps back.
Eric pauses as he looks over Chris’ shoulder. He bows his head, leaning towards Chris and whispers, “Dude, I think the girl that you brought me to accompany you a few months ago at the chalet is behind you.”
Chris’s brows furrow and he slowly turns around. Faith sees Chris looking at him and she freezes.
Chris turns back at Eric and sees him pretending to shoot himself in the head. Chris rolls his eyes, “I’ll talk to you later.”
She sees Eric leaves and she feels that that is her queue to approach Chris. Instead, Chris stood up and walks away from her. She walks fast and catches up to him. But Chris doesn’t stop walking. She continues to follow him.
Chris glances at Faith, “What are you doing here?” Chris asks. “I thought you had plans with Nina?”
“Umm, I did,” She answers nervously as she tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. “But I told her I had to leave early.”
Chris has his slight closed-lipped smile after hearing that.
Chris walks all the way home with Faith following behind her. He stops and turns around to face Faith.
“Are you going to follow me all the way to my room?” Chris asks harshly. “Why are you even here anyway? I’m not important to you. So, what’s the point of you coming here for?” He crosses his arms over his chest.
“I’m s… sorry,” Faith quavers and wraps her arms around her. “I just needed to see you and tell you that. I’ll… I’ll go now.” She turns around to leave.
“Hey,” Chris feels bad. “Let’s talk.” Chris catches up to Faith and opens the door behind him.
“You want me to go in?” Faith asks, her head tilts. “Aren’t your parents’ home? It’s almost evening.”
“They stayed at my grandparents’ place to take care of them,” Chris says.
Faith is reluctant to go in, but she doesn’t want to lose Chris. She steps through the doors.
Faith turns right into the living room to sit but she finds Howard on the couch cuddling with his girlfriend, watching the television. She stands there not knowing where to go. The girl smiles at Faith, and she smiles back.
Faith turns around towards Chris with one raised eyebrow.
“Don’t worry, we can chill in my room,” Chris reassures. “Follow me.”
Your room?
“Sit wherever you want,” Chris said as he opens the door to his room. “I’ll be right back.”
Faith walks into his room slowly and sits on his desk chair. She scans his room and realises how empty it was. The posters on the wall make her uncomfortable. She looks over at his desk and sees a drawing of her name. She picks it up to have a closer look. Just when Faith is about to take a photo of it with her phone, she hears footsteps getting closer towards the room. She quickly slides the drawing underneath all his books.
Chris walks in and closes the door behind him. Faith looks like she had been snooping but Chris doesn’t seem to mind because he doesn’t have anything to hide. Chris glances over at his desk. His drawing of Faith's name is surfacing out instead of underneath it where he left it a few days ago. He smiles and walks towards his bed.
She saw my drawing and pretended she didn’t, hah.
He sits down on his bed and looks up at Faith.
“Why must you come here?” Chris starts talking. “Why didn’t you just leave me a message?”
“Like as if you would reply,” Faith says, avoiding eye contact with Chris. She looks down and away whenever she talks. “You didn’t even answer my calls. I don’t want to lose you.”
Chris walks towards Faith and slowly pulls her by the hand to the bed, “I don’t want to lose you either.” He says as he leans closer. “I want it, Faith.”
Faith looks away, she knows what he wanted.
Chris' body droops, and he lets out a sigh. Faith looks at him.
This will be my first time and I’m giving it to him. I love him, but why am I so afraid of giving it to him? I want him all my life. What if he had better? What if he would leave me after? This is now, or he’ll leave.
“Okay,” Faith says.
“Fuck off,” Eric shoves Chris. “I’m so broke nowadays. I don’t have a stable job even. Every job I had ended with fights. Fuck my life, man.”
Chris empties his coins from his wallet into his palms, “Let’s see.” He counts his coins and totalled those up with his dollar notes. “I have exactly fourteen dollars and seventy cents. What about we get a couple of beers and chill somewhere?”
They sit nearby Chris’ house and talk for hours about how their life has evolved from being carefree to adulting.
“Here’s one more,” Eric chuckles. “Remember when you were sixteen and were dating this chick, what’s her name?”
“Sophia,” Chris smirks as he knows what Eric is getting to.
“Ah yes, her.” Eric rubs his hands together. “It was the year when they started the rules on locking the classroom door during recess because there were too many students complaining about their things getting stolen. The classroom blocks were usually very empty at that point in time.”
Chris nods with a huge smile on his face.
“We were supposed to meet each other at the usual place and I had to walk past your classroom,” Eric is talking so fast to finish his story as they are both laughing at each moment. “And there you were fucking another girl in your classroom!” They both burst out laughing.
“The key was with her and I had to take something from my bag,” Chris smirks. “We both were alone and I’m horny all the time, man! And, obviously, she wanted it too!”
Oh, there he is, laughing with Eric.
Faith is scared to face Chris, but she knows that if neither of them going to do something about it, she will lose Chris and that is the last thing she wanted. Every time she takes a step, she takes two steps back.
Eric pauses as he looks over Chris’ shoulder. He bows his head, leaning towards Chris and whispers, “Dude, I think the girl that you brought me to accompany you a few months ago at the chalet is behind you.”
Chris’s brows furrow and he slowly turns around. Faith sees Chris looking at him and she freezes.
Chris turns back at Eric and sees him pretending to shoot himself in the head. Chris rolls his eyes, “I’ll talk to you later.”
She sees Eric leaves and she feels that that is her queue to approach Chris. Instead, Chris stood up and walks away from her. She walks fast and catches up to him. But Chris doesn’t stop walking. She continues to follow him.
Chris glances at Faith, “What are you doing here?” Chris asks. “I thought you had plans with Nina?”
“Umm, I did,” She answers nervously as she tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. “But I told her I had to leave early.”
Chris has his slight closed-lipped smile after hearing that.
Chris walks all the way home with Faith following behind her. He stops and turns around to face Faith.
“Are you going to follow me all the way to my room?” Chris asks harshly. “Why are you even here anyway? I’m not important to you. So, what’s the point of you coming here for?” He crosses his arms over his chest.
“I’m s… sorry,” Faith quavers and wraps her arms around her. “I just needed to see you and tell you that. I’ll… I’ll go now.” She turns around to leave.
“Hey,” Chris feels bad. “Let’s talk.” Chris catches up to Faith and opens the door behind him.
“You want me to go in?” Faith asks, her head tilts. “Aren’t your parents’ home? It’s almost evening.”
“They stayed at my grandparents’ place to take care of them,” Chris says.
Faith is reluctant to go in, but she doesn’t want to lose Chris. She steps through the doors.
Faith turns right into the living room to sit but she finds Howard on the couch cuddling with his girlfriend, watching the television. She stands there not knowing where to go. The girl smiles at Faith, and she smiles back.
Faith turns around towards Chris with one raised eyebrow.
“Don’t worry, we can chill in my room,” Chris reassures. “Follow me.”
Your room?
“Sit wherever you want,” Chris said as he opens the door to his room. “I’ll be right back.”
Faith walks into his room slowly and sits on his desk chair. She scans his room and realises how empty it was. The posters on the wall make her uncomfortable. She looks over at his desk and sees a drawing of her name. She picks it up to have a closer look. Just when Faith is about to take a photo of it with her phone, she hears footsteps getting closer towards the room. She quickly slides the drawing underneath all his books.
Chris walks in and closes the door behind him. Faith looks like she had been snooping but Chris doesn’t seem to mind because he doesn’t have anything to hide. Chris glances over at his desk. His drawing of Faith's name is surfacing out instead of underneath it where he left it a few days ago. He smiles and walks towards his bed.
She saw my drawing and pretended she didn’t, hah.
He sits down on his bed and looks up at Faith.
“Why must you come here?” Chris starts talking. “Why didn’t you just leave me a message?”
“Like as if you would reply,” Faith says, avoiding eye contact with Chris. She looks down and away whenever she talks. “You didn’t even answer my calls. I don’t want to lose you.”
Chris walks towards Faith and slowly pulls her by the hand to the bed, “I don’t want to lose you either.” He says as he leans closer. “I want it, Faith.”
Faith looks away, she knows what he wanted.
Chris' body droops, and he lets out a sigh. Faith looks at him.
This will be my first time and I’m giving it to him. I love him, but why am I so afraid of giving it to him? I want him all my life. What if he had better? What if he would leave me after? This is now, or he’ll leave.
“Okay,” Faith says.
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Nina is a really good friend. I like her.
ReplyDeleteChris is very possessive and mean sometimes. He needs to get it together and respect Faith more. She shouldn't feel pressured to have sex but I know how that feels... Especially at that age. It's hard.